Soie.
Musings of a twenty something year old.
I‘ve never been to war but I’m holding an aftermath of violence of a magnitude I cannot fathom
More Stories
I never wore it again
I love shopping, especially when it comes to clothes. Things that give me joy are styling clothes. But today I have to find a black dress to wear to my brother's funeral. It's not a typical shopping spree. I went with my aunt.
What is Grief?
Grief is sitting outside on the balcony, watching people as they unload your loved one’s apartment from a truck, putting items down one by one - the carpet, the couch. It feels unreal, so you dissociate.
Imagine me & you : A Fleeting New Year's Memory
It's almost after midnight, New Year's Eve. I kissed an unimportant person when it hit midnight, but my eyes were always set on you.
Carrying forward the gifts someone gave you while still letting them go.
I wrote a poem and said: I am erasing your fingerprints from my body, Scrubbing away the memory of your touch So that my skin doesn't ache for you anymore. Yet I still catch myself wondering—do you ever think of me?
Carrying it Without Showing
I just stepped out of the doctor's office, tears balancing in my eyes. I reach the elevator where people are standing, and I cannot let them see me cry. So deep breaths, and carry it well without showing. This has been the theme of my life lately.
What About the Plans We Made?
I'll be in denial for a little while longer—what about the plans we made?
The Journey Back to Myself
I told my therapist about you. 'What was the most inconsistent relationship you had with a parental figure?' she asked. Oops. Here I was thinking it's love and butterflies, not realising I was dancing with ghosts from my past.
Chasing Warmth in All the Wrong Places
And winter came. I soon realized I was craving more than you could give me. This situation tingled an itch I've carried for so long—the want to be loved, heard, seen. But my brain was used to searching for it in places I couldn't get it.
Loving Someone Who Was Never Mine
Suriel Hess was onto something when he said, "Over and over again the lesson I have to learn is it's not love but it's still something, it's enough to keep me from running from you."